My perceptions are WAY OFF....

As the Holidays near me, although I don't "celebrate", I attended a performance by Ailey, along with my adoring partner for that evening Rob (thanks Rob!) I always go see Ailey, its a ritual, tradition, a compulsion I must follow.  My family comes and we have a blast.  I make fun of my old school friend Glenn, who in fact in quite amazing in presence, he looks for me in the front and I snap illegal photos of these memories I make.  The last piece for me is ALWAYS Revelations and if it isn't as it was this time unfinished Ailey. We watched instead a piece I had never had the pleasure of peeking in on Nights in Lisbon.  Colorful, gorgeous, perfection in motion...I watched in awe and peeked over at my great nephew Julian to his jaw on the ground as the "girls with the colorfuls dresses that were puffy" came out.  One dancer stood out to me she was powerful, and the largest dancer I had ever seen in an Ailey production.  I was drawn to her and began to doubt her ability, judge her size, and compare her to the other dancers.  Let me talk about this...I need to. At some point a dancer has to be told "You are too big" " I am sorry you will never be a ballerina, or hmmm, maybe you should Teach?"  Hmmm, now I felt totally as if I didn't have faith in Ailey or his dream because she was there because she made it and was awesome and looked amazing.  I began to then analyze her hair and short it was.  A dark, heav(ier) Black woman with closely shaved hair.  An exception or the expectation?  A constant struggle for me, for me, for ME.