Fear

...and so I arrive at my Accupuncuturist who by the way is fabulous Hillary Thing. I go to the table prepared for me, the table I always choose and I almost fall off the table, against a wall and could I end up on the street through the window? The fear of thinking that your weight is what caused the table to break, the fear of not wanting to go for a massage because....you should know everything has a weight limit...a law of physics right Alan?

So its that fear and empowerment at that moment where I almost knocked the beautiful Ganesh off the wall, where I thought...something is wrong with her equipment. It isn't me. That is the feeling people who are not obese feel all the time. How freeing. I am not sure if the Fat Acceptance Movement views this as their motto but it has to be the work I am doing that made me think...it isn't you. That fear drives me to keep blogging, get my cards made, and work on this website because although Carnegie Hall is selling 10 dollar tickets for this Sunday's performance if you sit any higher then the second tier you need to start thinking about what size you are because during a performance years ago...I wanted to see this badly and my buddy Marvin drove all the way with me. The entire night I thought my knees would disengage from my body, he was comfortable. It seemed everyone was. I couldn't wait to leave...and that isn't fair. Some might say lose weight and all these fears will be gone and maybe those that blog about how fat people should have their own section on the plane really believe it. I believe empowerment is the greatest gift, well besides empathy that a person can give. Don't you think? Anyway...on and looking to the day when I have to get an MRI and they don't ask me if I am over 300 pounds. It is possible.